How to Go Down on a Woman

Does female pleasure ever feel elusive to you? Maybe you’ve already wondered if she’s truly reaching orgasm, or even if she’s enjoying herself in the first place. You’re definitely not alone. Oral sex is often thought of as the ultimate way to satisfy a woman, but in practice, it isn’t always so straightforward. Perhaps you’ve tried it before without much luck, or maybe the idea itself makes you a bit nervous. Well, no worries, because this how-to guide is here to help. Follow the LOVE Team’s step-by-step pointers to master the art of cunnilingus and give your partner an experience she’ll never forget.

When done well, cunnilingus is an incredible source of pleasure for a woman. Some enjoy it as foreplay, building arousal before the main event, while others see it as a satisfying experience all on its own. But what makes it so good?

For starters, cunnilingus directly stimulate the clitoris—the most sensitive pleasure point on the female body. Since clit stimulation is one of the most reliable ways for a woman to orgasm, oral sex can seriously increase the chances of getting her there. And if you follow it up with penetrative sex, the heightened arousal can even lead to multiple orgasms.

Even beyond pleasure, oral sex will help her body get ready for what comes next. Sexual excitement triggers natural lubricant, making penetration smoother and more enjoyable for her. This can be especially helpful if she’s prone to tightness from stress or if she has vaginismus. The more relaxed and lubricated she is, the more receptive she’ll be—whether with your fingers, a toy, or a penis.

But oral sex doesn’t just have physical benefits. Oral sex is deeply intimate and sensual. It shows a level of attention and care—pleasing her purely for the sake of her pleasure, with no immediate expectations in return. Feeling that desired and cherished? That’s a serious turn-on. For some couples, it’s even a powerful expression of love.

On top of that, it adds some variety to your sex life. Penetrative sex might be the go-to for many couples, but it doesn’t always fulfil every desire. Making cunnilingus a regular part of the mix keeps things exciting. And for those who aren't quite ready for penetrative sex, it’s a fantastic way to explore pleasure without pressure—or the risk of pregnancy!

Now that you know why oral sex will be such a hit with your lady, it’s time to get down to business. Pleasuring a woman with your tongue isn’t something you can just wing—technique and a solid understanding of her body will make all the difference. Follow our guide to refine your skills and give your partner an experience she won’t forget.

Despite what some may think, not every woman is necessarily a fan of oral sex. Some have had bad experiences with a past partner who didn’t quite know what they were doing, while others find it a little too intimate—sometimes even more so than penetrative sex. Then there are those who feel self-conscious about how they look or smell down there, which can make it hard for them to relax. Whatever the reason, the golden rule is simple: never push it. Her comfort and consent come first, always.

If she enjoys oral sex, timing still matters. For her to fully appreciate the experience, it’s best to pick a moment when there’s no rush. A quickie doesn’t always allow for the kind of slow, indulgent pleasure that oral sex deserves. Ideally, it should be part of a longer, more sensual session—think slow sex, where the build-up is just as thrilling as the main event.

And above all, don’t dive in headfirst. If you’re feeling a little nervous or it’s your first time together, start with something softer—kissing, caresses, breast play. Creating a sensual, relaxed atmosphere before moving lower makes all the difference. The more comfortable she is, the better the experience will be—for both of you.

The position you choose for oral sex isn’t just a minor detail—it can make or break the experience. The right position should give her maximum pleasure while keeping you comfortable enough to go the distance. A bad angle can lead to neck strain, cramps, or an aching jaw, and nothing kills the mood faster than having to stop because you’ve got a crick in your neck. If she’s not properly relaxed either, she won’t be able to enjoy it fully.

For beginners, simple, classic positions are the way to go. Having her lie on her back with her legs slightly parted (a missionary-style setup) or sitting on the edge of a bed, chair, or sofa gives you easy access without putting too much strain on yourself. These positions also help her stay relaxed, making it easier for her to let go and enjoy.

Once you’re more comfortable, you can mix things up. Facesitting—where she gently lowers herself onto your face—can be a huge turn-on for her, as it lets her control the rhythm and pressure. The 69 position adds mutual pleasure to the mix, while oral from behind (her on all fours, you behind) can create new and more intense sensations.

And don’t be in a rush to strip everything off straight away. If she’s highly sensitive, teasing her over her underwear can help ease her into the sensation without overwhelming her. For an extra dose of seduction, take your time sliding her knickers off yourself—maybe even throw in a little dirty talk to build anticipation. As always, adjusting your moves to suit her reactions is key. Good communication and mutual enthusiasm will make all the difference.

When it comes to oral sex, rushing things is your worst enemy. Going too fast or applying too much pressure straight away can backfire—especially if she’s not fully aroused yet. The best approach? Build the sexual tension up and ease into it.

Before heading south, warm her up by exploring other erogenous zones with your lips and tongue. Her neck, ears, and breasts are especially sensitive and can do wonders for her arousal. Then, make your way down slowly, trailing kisses along her body—her stomach, hips, and the tops of her thighs.

Resist the urge to go straight for her clit or dive in with intense movements. Instead, tease the surrounding areas—the soft skin of her lower abdomen, the crease where her thighs meet her pelvis, and the inner thighs themselves. Gentle, lingering kisses and light flicks of your tongue will have her body responding in no time.

Taking your time isn’t just about delaying pleasure—it’s about increasing it. The longer you build anticipation, the more intense the sensations will be when you finally focus on her most sensitive spots. Arousal isn’t just physical; it’s mental too. The more she wants it, the better it will feel—so take your time and let the tension simmer.

Before you get started, it will help you to have a solid understanding of your partner’s intimate anatomy. Knowing the different erogenous zones around the vulva will not only improve your technique but also help you avoid common mistakes that could lessen her pleasure—or worse, make her uncomfortable.

That said, oral sex isn’t just about her clitoris. The entire vulva is full of sensitive areas that respond beautifully to lips and tongue. The inner lips (labia minora) are often highly sensitive, while the outer lips (labia majora) can be gently kissed or licked to build arousal. Just outside the vagina is another hotspot—light tongue stimulation around the area will send pleasurable shivers through her body and make her even more excited.

If you’re unsure about the hot spots on a woman’s body, a quick look at an anatomical diagram or a simple online search can clear things up. The better you understand her body, the better you’ll be at giving her exactly what she likes.

Now for the main event—using your tongue and lips to stimulate her most sensitive areas. But how exactly do you go about it? If you’re not sure which moves to start with, no worries. There are plenty of techniques to try, and the real secret is paying attention to her reactions so you can fine-tune your approach based on what she enjoys.

Here are some tried-and-tested tongue movements to experiment with:

• Up-and-down strokes: Glide your tongue from bottom to top, starting at the vaginal entrance and moving up to the hood of the clitoris, then back down again.
• Circular motions: Trace gentle circles around the clitoris, either clockwise or counterclockwise, to mix up the sensation.
• Side-to-side movements: Move your tongue left to right across the clitoris and inner lips to keep things varied.
• The alphabet trick: A classic for a reason! Try spelling out letters with your tongue over her vulva, changing the rhythm and intensity as you go.
• Pulsing pressure: Gently press your tongue against the hood of the clitoris in small, rhythmic pulses.
• Light suction: Wrap your lips softly around her clitoris and apply a delicate amount of suction. Be careful—this can be intense, so start gently and adjust based on her reactions.

The key is not to get stuck on one repetitive motion for too long. Mix up the rhythm, vary the pressure, and stay tuned in to what gets the best response. Her breathing, moans, and the way she moves her hips will tell you everything you need to know.

Going down takes stamina, and it’s completely normal to feel a bit of fatigue—especially in your tongue and neck—after a while. Taking short pauses is absolutely fine, as long as you do it smoothly and without breaking the mood.

The trick is to keep the stimulation going even while you give your tongue a rest. Use your fingers to maintain the momentum—gently stroke her clit, tease the zone just outside her vagina, or use a bullet vibrator to keep the pleasure building while you catch your breath.

Make sure that the pause doesn’t feel like you’re stopping, but rather switching things up to heighten the experience. If you handle things well, she’ll see the break as a masterful shift in technique rather than a sign of exhaustion. It will make you seem like a confident, skilled lover who knows exactly how to keep the pleasure going. Now that’s sexy.

Cunnilingus doesn’t have to be the only source of stimulation during your session. Even though your mouth and tongue are fully engaged, adding a few well-chosen sex toys can take things to the next level and make the experience even more intense for your partner.

If she loves nipple stimulation but you can’t multitask while going down on her, a breast-stimulating pump or nipple clamps will provide continuous mammary pleasure while you focus on her erogenous zones downstairs.

For an extra clitoral boost, a small vibrator can be a game-changer. You can switch between using your tongue and the toy or even combine both for a mind-blowing effect. Some vibrators are designed specifically for deep clit stimulation and can help her reach orgasm faster and more intensely.

If she enjoys dual stimulation (clitoris and vaginal), try gently sliding a small dildo inside her while you continue with your mouth. If you’re new to the world of dildo play, start with a soft silicone model in a modest size and use water-based lube for extra comfort and pleasure.

For couples who like a touch of BDSM-inspired play, adding a bit of restraint to your session can seriously dial up the excitement—with her full consent, of course. Try lightly tying up her wrists or legs with soft restraints or handcuffs to heighten the feeling of surrender. If you want to switch roles, let her take charge—she can tie your hands behind your back and instruct you to pleasure her using only your mouth. The added power dynamic can make the experience even more electrifying.

The idea is to switch things up and customise the experience to focus on what excites her most. Get creative, stay in tune with her reactions, and have fun experimenting!

A great oral session is all about your partner being fully in tune with her pleasure—and that means she should decide when it’s time to stop, not you. Of course, if you’re feeling physically uncomfortable or need a break, don’t push yourself beyond your limits. But ideally, let her set the pace.

Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t necessarily want to climax through oral alone. Some women love cunnilingus purely as a way to build excitement before moving on to the main event. And if she suddenly wants to switch to penetration? That’s not a failure on your part—it likely means you’ve turned her on so much that she can’t wait to take things further.

If she does orgasm through oral, avoid stopping too abruptly. Her pleasure won’t just disappear the second she comes, so easing off gradually with soft kisses or gentle caresses can keep the moment lingering and prevent a jarring "cut-off" feeling.

As always, communication is everything. Listen to her, read her body language, and go with the flow. Being attuned to what she wants makes the experience more satisfying—for her, and for you too.

Like anything worth mastering, great oral sex comes with practice, experience, and—most importantly—the desire to do it well. You don’t need to be an expert from the start; with a few solid techniques, a bit of trial and error, and a keen awareness of your partner’s reactions, you’ll improve faster than you think.

The key is to keep curious, experiment, and always be willing to adapt. And most importantly? Don’t overthink it. Sex is meant to be about pleasure, connection, and fun—not pressure or performance. So relax, explore, enjoy yourself… and give her an experience she won’t forget.