Slept with a Mate? Here's What to Do Next

It’s a more common story than you might think: a night that got out of hand, perhaps a bit of booze in the mix, and the next morning you’re waking up next to your platonic friend. The aftermath is often a cocktail of emotions: awkwardness (you’ve seen each other in a completely new way), confusion (how on earth did that happen?), worry (is this the end of your friendship?), and maybe even a hint of desire (should we do it again?).

Breathe. This isn’t the end of the world. Whether your friendly sex session was due to shared chemistry or a fleeting moment of attraction, this sort of thing happens more often than we care to admit. So, what’s next? Whether you’re keen to keep things strictly platonic, explore a no-strings situation, or even see where a romantic connection might lead (anyone else thinking Monica and Chandler?), the LOVE Team will help you move forward without missteps—so that you can figure out what you really want.

Let’s be honest—good friendships are built on a strong connection and genuine closeness. So, is it really surprising that friendly chemistry might spill over into something more intimate? If you get on so well as mates, it’s not completely out of the question that your tight relationship could spark physical attraction.

Maybe when you first met, one of you was in a relationship, so the idea of anything romantic or physical stayed firmly off the table. But as time passes and circumstances change, things may have shifted if both of you have found yourselves single again. A recent breakup, a heartfelt chat over a few drinks, or simply a mutual craving for comfort can all set the stage for something unexpected.

And then there’s alcohol. It has a way of lowering inhibitions, leading to moments that might not have crossed your mind in the light of day. A lingering glance, a tender touch… and suddenly, the friend zone feels like a distant memory.

Let’s not forget simple curiosity. If you work so well as friends, you might wonder what it would be like to take that connection to the next level. Sometimes a fleeting thought turns into a mutual “Why not give it a shot?” moment.

However it happened, the real question comes with the morning light: where do you go from here? Do you brush it off and focus on saving the friendship? Consider a no-strings, friends-with-benefits arrangement? Or see if there’s potential for something deeper and more romantic?

In any event, the next step is to explore your options and figure out the best way forward—for both you and your friend.

A night that changes everything inevitably leads to the big question: what’s next for your relationship? Whether you’re keen to return to just being friends, explore something more casual centred on physical pleasure, or turn your connection into a full-blown love story, one thing is crucial: communication.

The first step is to have an open and honest chat with your friend to make sure you’re both on the same page. This might feel daunting, especially if your desires don’t align. In that case, it might be wise to take a step back to protect both your feelings and theirs.

Don’t worry—we’re here to guide you through this tricky situation and help you find the path that works best for both of you.

So, you took the leap and slept with your mate, only to realise it’s not working in the bedroom—but your friendship is still something you treasure. Maybe it was the result of one too many drinks, or simply a curiosity you needed to explore. Either way, you’re both on the same page: sticking to friendship is the way forward. But how do you rewind without jeopardising your bond?

The first step is to move past the awkwardness. There’s no need to make your fleeting fling a forbidden topic between you. The worst thing you can do is avoid each other the next day, letting discomfort and unspoken tension take hold. If you both agree it was either a mistake or a one-off experiment, it’s time to have an honest chat about where to go from here.

Decide together whether this story stays between you or if you’re comfortable sharing it with mutual friends. Also, clarify whether this is something you can laugh about in the future or if you’d both rather keep it in the past for good. What matters most is finding a balance where neither of you feels uneasy.

Lastly, if one of you starts a new romantic relationship down the line, honesty is the best policy. It’s better to be upfront with your new partner about your night of passion than risk them hearing about it from someone else, which could lead to unnecessary drama.

With solid communication and a bit of maturity, you can absolutely save your friendship—and maybe even come out of your horizontal adventure closer than before.

After that unforgettable night, one thing is clear: your chemistry between the sheets is undeniable. But if you’re not after romance or commitment, a friends-with-benefits arrangement might be the right solution—as long as you’re both on the same page and agree to a few ground rules to keep things running smoothly.

First things first, make sure you’re both fully comfortable with the idea of a purely physical connection. This kind of relationship only works if neither of you has emotional or romantic expectations—and of course, it only makes sense if you’re both single.

Before deciding on this course of action, it’s worth weighing up the pros and cons. The fun and added closeness might sound appealing, but there are definitely emotional risks and future complications to keep in mind. If you’re unsure, have a read of our our guide to friends-with-benefits relationships for a deeper look at the ups and downs.

A word of caution: if one of you starts to develop feelings while the other doesn’t, things can quickly get tricky—and potentially painful. And if one of you meets someone new, your sexy no-strings-attached arrangement will almost certainly need to end, which could jeopardise your friendship.

To avoid unnecessary heartache, you’ll need to set clear boundaries from the start. What does a friends-with-benefits arrangement mean to each of you? What lines shouldn’t be crossed to protect your emotions? And if things get complicated, are you both prepared for the potential fallout?

Becoming friends with benefits can be an exciting and sexually fulfilling experience if handled in the right way and with mutual consent. But don’t forget that a strong, long-lasting friendship might be worth more than a few nights of passion. It’s up to you to decide what matters most.

That night changed everything. It wasn’t just about the physical connection—there was something deeper, a real emotional bond that came to light. Congratulations, you’re living out what is probably the dream scenario in situations like these: you’ve discovered a soulmate who was already a part of your life!

One of the best things about a relationship that grows from a friendship is the solid foundation you’re starting with. There’s no need for those awkward early dates where you’re trying to figure out who the other person really is. You already know their quirks, strengths, and what makes them special. You’re leagues ahead of many couples just starting out.

The next step is figuring out how to handle the transition to couplehood. You might choose to keep your new dynamic private for now, allowing yourselves time to enjoy the honeymoon phase without outside pressure. Or maybe you’re so thrilled you want to shout it from the rooftops, letting everyone know you’ve found happiness together.

Whichever path you choose, the most important thing is to be clear with each other about your intentions and expectations. Take the time to have an honest conversation about how you see your new chapter unfolding to avoid misunderstandings down the road.

A serious relationship born out of friendship often comes with a unique strength and deep trust. If you’re ready to take the plunge, embrace this exciting new journey—you’ve already made a big step in the right direction!

Sometimes, one shared night can mark a turning point that’s hard to ignore. For one of you, it might have been the culmination of long-held romantic feelings for your friend. For the other, just a regrettable mistake—perhaps fuelled by too many drinks or a fleeting moment of loneliness. When your desires are so out of sync, finding common ground without someone getting hurt can feel impossible. In these cases, stepping back—or even cutting ties—may be the healthiest option, at least for a while.

Things can get even trickier if you share a circle of friends or enjoy mutual hobbies. But ultimately, your emotional well-being is what matters most. If you’re the one who wants more from the relationship, taking some space might be the only way to heal and move forward. Immerse yourself in new experiences: try new hobbies, expand your social circle, and focus on yourself as you would after any other breakup.

On the flip side, if you’re the one who doesn’t want to take things further but your friend has feelings for you, empathy and respect are key. Pay attention to their needs—if they’re open to maintaining contact, follow their lead. But if they’d rather cut ties, honour their decision. This means avoiding calls, surprise visits, or any interactions on social media that might blur the boundaries.

Remember, when it comes to interpersonal relationships, nothing is set in stone. Sometimes, with time and distance, wounds can heal and friendships can be rebuilt. But this can only happen when both of you are ready and willing. For now, focus on your own emotional balance and give the other person the space they need to do the same.

Whether your connection leads to a stronger friendship, a casual fling, a meaningful love story, or even a necessary parting of ways, it all comes down to two essential pillars: communication and respect. Be mindful of each other’s feelings and decisions, while making sure your own boundaries and needs are honoured too.

Every relationship is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. What matters most is approaching this situation with honesty, maturity, and kindness. Whatever direction your relationship takes, both of you deserve to feel heard, valued, and respected.

The LOVE Team wishes you all the best in this sometimes unexpected, often tricky, but always insightful journey.