How to Get Over a Breakup: Our Readers’ Best Tips!

A breakup with someone dear can be one of life's most painful experiences. It's completely normal not to feel like yourself after such an ordeal, but there are many ways to bounce back. To find the most effective techniques, we asked our readers in a social media survey. Here, we'll explore why breakups are so tough, common symptoms felt after a particularly difficult split, and then present the top 5 tips from our readers for finding your smile and some motivation again. Lastly, we'll tackle the question of how long it takes to truly move on.

Breakups are often emotionally taxing for several reasons. First, there's a sense of loss on an emotional investment. You've put time, energy, and feelings into the relationship, and seeing all that disappear can be devastating.

Next, a breakup can disrupt your daily routine, especially if you shared a home with your partner. The habits and rituals you established together are suddenly upended, making the transition even harder.

Another tough aspect is the need to redefine yourself as an individual. After a breakup, it's common to ask, "Who am I without them?" This quest for identity can be unsettling and takes time to rebuild.

Breakups can also lead to changes in social and family dynamics. Who keeps the mutual friends? How do you handle relationships with your ex's family, especially if you were particularly close to them? These questions can add a layer of complexity to the situation.

Finally, there's the disappointment linked to how you envisioned the future. The plans and dreams you built together collapse, and the fear of growing old alone can become an additional source of anxiety.

All these reasons contribute to making breakups so hard to overcome. However, by understanding these challenges, you can better prepare to face them and find ways to heal and move on.

After a romantic breakup, it's common to feel a deep sadness and lack of happiness. This period can be marked by feelings of emptiness and despair, with each day seeming harder than the last. Sadness can invade every aspect of your life, making even the simplest activities more complicated.

Lack of motivation is also a frequent symptom. You might notice a drop in performance at work or in your studies. This loss of motivation can affect your productivity and ability to focus on responsibilities.

Anhedonia, or a lack of pleasure, is another common symptom. Activities that used to bring you joy, like seeing friends, engaging in hobbies, or even enjoying your favourite foods, can lose their appeal. This feeling of emptiness can make each day feel monotonous and flavourless.

Low self-esteem is also a frequent issue, especially if your ex initiated the breakup. You might wonder if you're still attractive or if you'll find someone else. These questions can erode your confidence and make you doubt your personal worth.

You might feel like you no longer have the energy to accomplish anything. Just getting out of bed can seem like a Herculean task, and you might feel the need to spend the day in bed to avoid facing reality.

Promiscuity can be a reaction to a breakup, especially after a long-term, serious relationship. Some people might seek out numerous new partners to try and forget their ex. This search for comfort can sometimes lead to impulsive and potentially harmful behaviours.

Finally, confusion can surface after a breakup. You might wonder why the relationship ended and seek answers that don't always come. This uncertainty can make the healing process even more difficult, as it leaves questions unanswered and doubts lingering.

It's important to recognise these symptoms and understand that they are normal after a breakup. By acknowledging these feelings, you can start working on your healing and regaining emotional balance.

After exploring the common symptoms felt after a romantic breakup, it's time to discover the best strategies to overcome this challenge. We've gathered testimonials from our readers to bring you the top 5 ways to find your smile and motivation again. Each method is accompanied by an inspiring quote from one of our readers, providing you with practical and authentic advice to move forward.

It’s definitely a good idea to part with items belonging to your ex or those that remind you of your past relationship. Reach out to your ex in a simple and direct way to arrange a meeting in a neutral location. If the pain is still too raw for both of you, you can ask a mutual friend to serve as a go-between. As a last resort, use a courier service to send their belongings back to them.

For mementos like cinema tickets, photos, or small tokens of affection, you can pack them away in a box and store them somewhere for a while. You might not want to see them around your home right now, but you could regret throwing them away later once you’re older and feeling nostalgic.

According to Marissa*, 35: “I could never bring myself to throw away all those mementos from my exes. Now, married to the love of my life, I look back at them fondly and I'm glad I kept them. They're part of my personal story, and I'm sure they'll interest my children and grandchildren one day.”

Sometimes, when you're in a serious relationship, you don't dare to change your appearance much because it's what your partner is used to. A breakup can be the perfect opportunity to discover a new look. Whether it's your hair, clothes, makeup, or even hitting the gym to shed a few pounds, there are plenty of ways to transform yourself post-breakup. It’s not necessarily a question of attracting a new partner, but rather of feeling comfortable in your own skin.

Sylvia, 40, shares: “After my divorce, I decided to cut my hair short. It was truly freeing for me. I feel lighter and more in tune with myself. It's amazing how a simple change in appearance can transform your mindset.”

What are friends for, after all? They're there for you, and sometimes, when you're fully invested in a romantic relationship, you don't see them as much as you'd like. Now's the chance to strengthen those important bonds with your mates. Invite them to a nice restaurant, go see the latest film everyone's talking about, or simply grab a coffee together. Ask them about their lives; your time together shouldn’t simply be an opportunity to complain about your breakup (though talking about it a bit might help), but to focus on someone else. Thinking less about your own situation will go a long way in helping you get over it.

Mark*, 25, shares: “Since my breakup, I've reconnected with my friends and we have gaming nights every Friday. My ex wasn't too keen on them and never wanted them over. Now, we're having a blast and I realise how precious the time we spend together is.”

Have you always dreamed of travelling? There’s no better time than the present! If you're young and unattached, why not consider spending a year working or studying abroad? Distance will help to ease the memories of your ex. If you can't afford that freedom (for example, if you share children with your ex or have work commitments), even a short trip of one or two weeks can be very helpful. You’ll see that there is a world beyond what you experienced with your ex.

Jonathan*, 22, tells us: “When my girlfriend left me, I was devastated. But ultimately, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I decided to go to Quebec, Canada, on a Working Holiday visa, and it completely changed my perspective. I discovered a new world, improved my French, and even got to know the local girls. It was an incredible experience.”

An often-cited rule of thumbs says that it takes half the time you spent together to get over a breakup. For example, if you were together for a year, it would supposedly take you six months to recover, and for four years, two years. However, this rule is completely inaccurate! Every person is different, and some relationships, though brief, can leave a much deeper impact than others that lasted longer.

There’s no absolute rule for when you’ll feel better after a breakup. What’s important is to understand that the time needed to heal varies from person to person. With time, the pain will gradually become less intense, and eventually, you’ll find a new partner. There’s no need to rush; everything should happen in its own time. You’ll want to take your time to rebuild yourself and regain your emotional balance.

Breakups are difficult times that we all have to go through at some point in our lives. We hope these tips will provide valuable support during this period. From all of us at the LOVE Team, we send you our support. You are definitely not alone, and in time, believe us, you will find joy and hope again.