Crying After Sex – Why It's Perfectly Normal

It’s the strangest thing: you’ve just had an intensely intimate moment with your partner, reached a toe-curling climax, and then…here come the waterworks. Your intense orgasm hasn’t given you a satisfied glow, but rather a tear-smudged visage. Crying after sex can be unsettling for both you and your partner. But here’s the thing – it’s far more common (and far less unusual) than you’d think.

Crying after sex even has a name: post-coital tristesse. It’s not exactly a new discovery either. The ancient philosopher Galen once said, “Every animal is sad after coitus except the human female and the rooster.” But your crying might not actually be due to sadness. After all, the human body is full of surprises, and the way emotions mix with physical reactions can sometimes catch us off guard.

In this article, we’ll be exploring why these post-orgasm tears happen, why they’re nothing to worry about (and won’t ruin your sex life), and how you can deal with this delicate situation if it ever happens to you.

Crying after an orgasm might feel a bit baffling, but it’s often down to reasons that are as varied as they are completely natural. Here’s a closer look at what might be behind those unexpected tears:

Crying doesn’t always mean you’re sad. Sometimes, tears are a sign of pure happiness – an overwhelming sexual connection with your partner. Maybe the moment feels extra special because you haven’t experienced this level of pleasure in ages, or perhaps it’s a feeling you’ve never had before. Those positive emotions, heightened by the intensity of the experience, can take over and make you weepy.

When you climax, your body releases a flood of hormones, including oxytocin and dopamine, which trigger a mix of physical and emotional responses. These hormonal shifts can sometimes lead to tears, just as they might cause uncontrollable laughter in some people. In this case, crying is simply a natural reaction to the overwhelming surge of emotions and sensations running through your body.

Sometimes, post-sex tears come from a place of actual sadness. If you’ve recently gone through a difficult breakup, thoughts of your ex-partner might resurface, adding an unexpected touch of melancholy to the moment. This also might also explain why some men find it harder to perform after separating from a serious partner.

For some people, crying after sex might be linked to feelings of guilt or shame. This could stem from a strict upbringing where sex was considered taboo, or from past sexual trauma. In such cases, these tears might be a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or a deeper internal conflict that’s bubbling to the surface.

Crying after an orgasm isn’t unusual – it’s a natural human reaction influenced by a range of emotional, biological, and psychological factors. Understanding what’s triggering your tears can help you feel calmer and more reassured.

That said, if you’re regularly crying after sex or it’s leaving you feeling unsettled, it might help to take a moment to reflect. Ask yourself a simple question: how do I really feel after sex? Tuning into your emotions in this context can be an important step towards understanding what your body might be trying to communicate.

In some cases, those tears might be the sign of something deeper, like a deep sadness or the weight of unresolved trauma. If you feel these emotions are linked to pain or difficulties that haven’t been addressed, it could be worth speaking to a professional. A sex therapist can help you explore these feelings.

Getting to know yourself and understanding how you react to sex is key to a fulfilling sex life. So, while these tears might catch you off guard, they’re rarely a sign of anything wrong. Listen to your body, honour your emotions, and don’t hesitate to dig a little deeper if you feel the need.

Crying after a climax can feel a bit confusing, especially for your partner. Being faced with tears during such an intimate moment might leave them wondering: are they regretting sleeping with me? Was I not up to snuff sexually? Was it truly consensual? These questions are natural, but open and honest communication can help clear up any doubts and build trust between you.

If your tears are due to a positive emotion – like intense happiness or a deep sexual connection – it will be easy enough to reassure your partner. Let them know that you’re just overwhelmed by how good the sex was. Share how much you enjoyed your session and how much pleasure they gave you. In fact, the experience will even be flattering for your partner, showing them that their bedroom prowess has left a lasting impression.

Sometimes, post-coital tears can be a sign that unresolved or painful memories are bubbling up, especially after a serious breakup. In this case, it’s worth taking some time to reflect on your emotions. If you’re in a new relationship, it’s completely normal to have lingering feelings for your ex, especially if they meant a lot to you. Talking about your emotions with a friend or even your new partner can help you move forward.

If the relationship is more casual – like with a “friends with benefits” arrangement – make sure you’re both on the same page and comfortable with the setup. Clear communication will help you avoid any misunderstandings or mixed signals.

When your tears stem from feelings of shame or a complicated relationship with sex, it can be helpful to explore your deeper emotions. Are these feelings you’re experienced tied to your upbringing, cultural taboos, or past sexual experiences? If you sense an emotional block when it comes to sex, reaching out to a sex therapist could be a positive step. The right sex therapist will help you build a healthier relationship with your sexuality.

Whatever the reason behind your tears, open and honest communication with your partner isa must. Reassure them about your intentions and feelings. This kind of discussion will actually strengthen your intimate bond and help you better understand this tricky situation.

Crying after an orgasm, while unexpected, doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Instead, it can be an opportunity to better understand yourself and deepen the connection you share with your sexual partner.

An intense orgasm is a powerful experience, combining intense physical sensations with deep psychological emotions. So, it’s not entirely surprising that the body may sometimes react in unexpected ways – like with tears! Crying after sex is often a natural response to the hormonal whirlwind that stems from such an intimate moment.

That said, if you’re often finding yourself in tears after sex, it might be worth exploring where they’re coming from. Is it a buried emotion, a memory from the past, or perhaps a struggle to fully embrace yourself as a sexual being? In these cases, taking a step back, hitting the pause button on your sexual activity, and reflecting on your feelings may be helpful. Don’t hesitate to seek support if you need it – working on yourself is an important part of building a healthy, fulfilling sex life.

At the end of the day, everyone’s body and mind reacts differently. Embrace your emotions with kindness, because they’re part of what makes you human.