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Why Can’t He Get It Up?

Why Can’t He Get It Up?

Posted on 25 April 2024 by Natalia
Why Can’t He Get It Up?
When he can't get it up, the situation can become quite a bit awkward. Is your partner simply knackered, feeling a bit stressed, or is there something else going on? Let's explore this delicate conundrum together to get to the heart of the mystery.

Even the most enthusiastic partner can sometimes face an unexpected hitch in the bedroom. When he can't maintain an erection during sex, it can make you doubt yourself. 'Is it my fault? Am I not attractive enough?' These thoughts are common, but they shouldn't always be a cause for worry.

Here the LOVE Team is offering up five reasons why a man might occasionally lose his vigour, and explaining why these moments shouldn't always be taken to heart. What are the best ways to react? Sometimes simple gestures are enough, other times, it's just about accepting the situation. Let's approach this sensitive topic with tact and without judgement.

1. He's had one too many.

If your evening was particularly boozy before getting down to business, it's not surprising that your partner might struggle to stay hard. Alcohol can seriously disrupt the nervous system, affect hormone levels, and alter blood circulation. Many men who struggle with alcoholism experience erectile dysfunction. This side effect certainly might make him think twice before agreeing to another round!

In this delicate situation, there's unfortunately not much to do but wait for the effects of alcohol to wear off. The best approach might be to try again once your partner has sobered up.

2. He's not over his ex.

Starting up a new romance isn't always easy, especially if your last relationship was especially intense. If your partner has recently ended a serious relationship and this is the first time he's been intimate with someone else, he might have his ex on his mind. These thoughts can become intrusive and interfere with the present moment, sometimes leading to performance issues.

In this case, there's not much you can do directly to solve the problem. In general, it’s not a great idea to get seriously involved with someone who hasn't completely moved on from their last relationship. If you care about this person, it might be wise to give him some time. Take a break and see if his feelings become clearer with time. But sometimes, he might just need to be alone to grieve his past relationship. It's up to you to decide if he’s worth waiting for or not.

3. He's feeling stressed out.

Anxiety and nerves are very common reasons that can affect sexual performance, even in men who don't usually have problems in this area. So what’s going on physiologically? When someone is stressed out or anxious, even in a pleasurable situation, the body can misinterpret the stress as a danger signal and release hormones accordingly.



Why might he be nervous when you seem to be having a good time? He might be intimidated by you or by the situation, and worried about not living up to your expectations. In this kind of situation , don't focus on this setback. Instead, continue to kiss and enjoy some foreplay as if nothing even happened. By creating a relaxed and pressure-free environment, it's very likely that the situation will resolve itself.

4. He’s leading an unhealthy lifestyle.

An unhealthy lifestyle can play a significant role in erection issues. Obesity, smoking, drug use, and lack of exercise are all factors that can compromise a man's ability to maintain an erection. Unfortunately, these effects tend to worsen with age, especially in men over 40 years old.

As performance in bed can naturally decrease with age, it becomes crucial to make healthier lifestyle choices. If you've just met your partner, it may be inappropriate to lecture him on the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle. However, if you're in a serious relationship, you could set an example for your partner by adopting a healthier lifestyle yourself. It won’t just be beneficial for you, but it could also inspire your partner to follow your example, which can have positive repercussions, including for your sex life.

5. It's a side effect of a medication he's taking.

Certain prescription drugs used to treat health problems can have unwanted side effects, including on sexual performance. Medications for high blood pressure, such as beta blockers and diuretics, those used to lower high cholesterol levels (fibrates), as well as treatments for anxiety, depression, psychotic disorders, and certain hormonal imbalances can all contribute to erection issues.

In this situation, it's important to respect your partner's privacy and confidentiality. If he's taking this type of medication, he'll share this information with you when he feels ready. Understanding and being patient in these circumstances can help manage the situation with compassion and support, thereby strengthening the intimate bond that you share.

Whatever the reason behind an occasional failure to launch, the key is communication and understanding. Your partner will choose to share these details with you when he feels ready. Pressuring or aggressively questioning him certainly won't improve the situation and could even create unnecessary tension.
If your partner seems indifferent or reacts negatively without a willingness to talk, this could be a sign that he might not be the right partner for you. On the other hand, if he opens up sincerely and shares his difficulties with you, this obstacle could actually bring you closer. Patience and empathy are your best allies for navigating these delicate moments together and strengthening your relationship.