Stealthing Explained: Why Removing a Condom Without Consent Is Sexual Assault

Stealthing is the practice of removing a condom during sex without the consent or knowledge of the other partner. Some brush it off as a breach of trust, but the truth is much more serious. Stealthing can have real physical and emotional consequences. In this article, the LOVE Team will explain what stealthing is, why it’s a problem and how you can protect yourself.

Stealthing is when someone removes a condom during sex without telling their partner or getting their consent beforehand. Unlike a mutual decision to go without protection, this is a one-sided act, usually done to satisfy personal desires (like a breeder kink, for example) or take risks without dealing with the consequences. Safe sex requires mutual agreement, every time: that way, both partners commit to protecting each other. Stealthing breaks that agreement and shatters the non-consenting partner’s trust.

The act of stealthing has been getting more attention in recent years, partly because it’s so underhanded and rarely talked about. Often, the person on the receiving end doesn’t even realise what’s happened until the act is well underway, making it even harder to spot or stop in the moment. And after, they may brush it off as just a mishap or a misunderstanding.

Non-consensual condom removal puts the victim at immediate risk for a number of different reasons. The most obvious danger is exposure to sexually transmitted infections (STIs) like HIV, herpes or hepatitis. Condoms are one of the most effective ways to reduce the risk. By taking their partner’s protection away without warning, the perpetrator is effectively stripping them of control over their own sexual health.

Beyond the physical risks, stealthing can have serious repercussions on the stealthed partner’s emotional well-being. It can leave someone feeling betrayed, ashamed or humiliated, because sex should always be based on respect and communication. The lack of consent in this situation can seriously damage trust in a sexual relationship and leave lasting psychological scars. There’s also the risk of an unplanned pregnancy, adding another layer of stress for the person affected.

At its core, stealthing violates the basic principles of intimacy, namely that every person has the right to decide what happens to their own body. Taking that choice away is a violation of dignity, bodily autonomy and consent.

Simply put, yes. Under English and Welsh law, stealthing is considered rape. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 states that a person cannot legally consent to sex if they have been deceived about what the act involves. Removing a condom without the other person’s knowledge or agreement fundamentally changes the nature of the sexual encounter. As a result, anyone who engages in stealthing could potentially face a conviction for rape.

This is a serious offence, carrying a maximum sentence of life imprisonment. Courts have recognised stealthing as a violation of consent, and cases have been successfully prosecuted. While some may try to downplay it as just a breach of trust, the legal system is increasingly treating it as a significant crime.

Victims of stealthing have the right to report the offence to the police and seek justice for the harm caused—whether that’s the physical risks of STIs or pregnancy, or the emotional impact of having their trust and autonomy violated. The law is clear: sex without full, informed consent is a crime, and stealthing falls firmly into that category.

The first line of defence against stealthing is clear, open communication, both before and during sex. Talk about boundaries, expectations and protection beforehand. Make sure there’s an explicit agreement that a condom will be used the entire time, and that both partners respect that.

If you’re worried about the risk of stealthing, there are a few ways to protect yourself. You can check that the condom is in place before and during sex, either visually or by touch. If something feels off—whether that’s discomfort, a shift in sensation or a gut feeling that something’s not right—take a break and check. If you ever feel unsafe or suspect that your partner isn’t respecting your agreement, stop immediately and have a conversation. You always have the right to withdraw consent at any point if something doesn’t feel right.

Beyond individual precautions, the bigger picture is about education and awareness. Conversations around sex need to reinforce the fact that consent isn’t just a one-time yes. Rather, it’s ongoing, informed and mutual. The more openly we talk about boundaries and respect, the less space there is for violations like stealthing to be dismissed or ignored.

If you’ve been a victim of stealthing, know that it’s not your fault, and that there are steps you can take: physically, emotionally and legally.

Your first priority should be your health. Book an appointment with a GP, sexual health clinic or local NHS service to get checked for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If pregnancy is a concern, you may want to consider emergency contraception. The sooner you seek medical advice, the more options you’ll have for prevention and treatment.

As we’ve mentioned, under the law, stealthing is rape. You have the right to report it to the police, who can investigate the offence. If you’re unsure about going straight to the authorities, you can speak to a sexual violence support organisation first. They can guide you through your options and offer confidential advice.

You may also be eligible for free legal support. Organisations like Rape Crisis England & Wales or Victim Support can help connect you with legal professionals who specialise in sexual offences.

Stealthing can leave lasting emotional scars. If you’re struggling, know that help is available. Counsellors, therapists and specialist support groups can provide a safe space to process what’s happened. You don’t have to go through this alone. Charities and helplines are there to support you, whether you need someone to talk to or guidance on what to do next.

There’s no “right” way to respond to stealthing. But whatever you choose to do, you deserve support, respect and justice.

Stealthing is a dangerous act that violates trust, consent and personal safety in intimate relationships. Raising awareness is crucial, and open conversations about boundaries and respect help prevent this kind of violation. Everyone has the right to set and uphold their own limits, and no one should ever have that choice taken away from them.

If you’ve experienced stealthing, you’re not alone. Support is available, whether you need medical care, legal advice or emotional guidance. Your safety and well-being matter, and there is no shame in seeking help.

Take care of yourself, and never hesitate to reach out if you need support.