Spit kink: when spitting becomes sexy

In this article we’ll be taking you along with us as we dive into the world of spit kinks to understand everything about its origins, variations and essential precautions to take.

A spit kink refers to any erotic practice where saliva takes a central role. This could include during make-out sessions, licking, or a veritable exchange of saliva. Spitting could be seen as provocative, even shocking as it’s often considered to be a vulgar gesture. However, in a consenting sexual environment, this same act can take on a highly erotic role, symbolising utter self-abandon or, quite the opposite, an affirmation of power.

For some people, it's the sensory dimension of saliva- the texture, the taste, the smell- that arouses desire. For others, it’s the idea of straying into the forbidden, or the type of power play that the fluid exhibits. From a gentle practice introduced during foreplay, to a more explicit act that’s tinged with domination, a spit kink can take on many roles.

Saliva peaks our interest because it's paradoxical: this fluid is intimate and familiar, essential for digestion, tasting and talking. However, we tend to avoid seeing it or feeling it anywhere other than in the mouth. The idea of making it visible can awaken a feeling of transgression within us. Arousal also comes from the sensual side of spit: humidity, heat coming from the saliva, the proximity of the other person when exchanging spit or applying it to the other’s body.

There’s also a cultural aspect at play. The taboo side of things is reinforced by the fact that, traditionally, spitting is perceived as a crude, maybe even offensive act. In a sexual context, inversing the role of spitting from a form of disrespect to a consensual, bond strengthening moment between you and your partner can increase arousal. In this way we’re playing with social norms, manipulating taboos and creating a space of freedom where disgust evolves into pleasure.

It’s often simpler to bring up the topic of spit kinks in a neutral moment than it is on the spot during an intimate moment, without prior warning. Explaining clearly what it is about this practice that you find attractive and listening to your partner's reactions will mitigate any potential misunderstandings. By offering explanations (maybe you’re looking for new sensations, you’re simply curious about it or you want to ‘break the rules’ a little), you’re giving your partner the keys to understanding your thought process, and allowing them to evaluate their own limits.

It’s better to take it slowly on your first go. Start with kisses that are a little more moist, or by a small exchange of saliva that’ll help test the waters without rushing right into it. Keep an eye on your partner’s reactions, ask them how they’re feeling, and let the excitement build at its own speed. If one of you is feeling uncomfortable, stop what you’re doing and talk calmly about what needs changing, or whether things need to be stopped definitively.

There are hundreds of ways to integrate spit kinks into the bedroom. Some couples like to integrate it into foreplay: saliva becomes a way to prolong the kiss, to play with the tongue, to kindle desire using the mouth. Other, more explicit practices, such as spitting on someone’s chest, neck or other parts of the body, accentuate the forbidden, erotic side of things.

With regards to submission and domination, spitting can symbolise an affirmation of power or an offer of abandonment, depending on who spits and who receives. This has a much more theatrical dimension, that should be discussed in advance, so that everyone is aware of their roles, desires and limits. Some like to use saliva as added lubricant, even though it isn’t always the most suitable thing to use. Whatever way you choose to use it, listening to one another is always the cornerstone to a plentiful experience.

As with any sexual habit, one must always be aware of health and hygiene. Good mouth health is ideal to reduce the risk of spreading bacteria. Even though saliva may not be the main vector for STIs, some infections can be transmitted orally, it is therefore recommendable to get checked regularly, especially if you have multiple partners.

It’s equally important to discuss beforehand one another’s sensitivities regarding saliva. Not everybody reacts the same way to spit, so what might be a turn on for one person could be a turn off for another. Putting the use of a safeword into place, an agreed upon code, ensures you know as soon as someone is feeling uncomfortable or if it’s time to take a break. Keep in mind that consent must always be freely given, and that it can also be taken away at any moment.

For those wanting to take things a step further, there are many ways to do this. Playing around with temperature- drinking hot or iced drinks just before kissing your partner- can create sensory contrasts that are particularly arousing. Varying the rhythm, alternating between slow and urgent, also allows you to keep up the tension. Spitting suddenly in a moment of tenderness could add a surprising twist to things, whilst a long, humid kiss might help to create a more sensual atmosphere.

Some people may choose to integrate spit kinks into other practices, such as bondage, role play or dirty talk, in order to set a scene in which saliva becomes just one element amongst many other things. This all depends on the imagination of each individual, and the complicity within the relationship. Make sure to be attentive to the other person's reactions and try to adapt in real time.

A spit kink is a surprising sexual practice that often arouses curiosity as much as it does cautiousness. It questions our relationship with fluids, disgust and rule breaking. By daring to dive into this sensual act, we can discover a new way to play with our’s and our partner’s bodies, as long as it is done in a setting that evokes trust, open communication and mutual consent.

What remains important is growing your own desire as well as your partners’ without being too harsh on yourself, all whilst respecting each person's limits. If the use of saliva isn’t your cup of tea, there are many other things you can do to spice up your sex life. But if the thought of spitting sparks something in you, then it’s up to you to spit on social conventions and let your imagination go wild… with saliva as your right-hand man.