Speeding things up in the bedroom – and cutting your pleasure session short – might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes it’s exactly what’s needed to make the moment just right. The LOVE Team has rounded up our top advice to help you finish with intensity and pace, all without compromising on pleasure.
Society tells men that to be a star in the bedroom, you need to last all night. In fact, getting to the finish line too quickly is often seen as shameful. But is that really a universal rule? Not necessarily. Long, drawn-out sessions aren’t always the pinnacle of sexual pleasure, and there are plenty of reasons why you might want to finish a little faster. Still, you might sometimes hit a frustrating roadblock on the way to a fast-tracked climax. Believe it or not, even men – who are often thought of as able to climax effortlessly compared to women – can face moments when the big finish feels completely out of reach.
No worries! Whether it’s about preference, necessity, or just curiosity, there are several proven techniques to help you get there faster without losing the thrill. Today, the LOVE Team is sharing our best tricks to help you finish quicker while keeping the intensity alive.
Why Sometimes Finishing Faster is a Good Thing
As we’ve mentioned, the popular belief is that a man who’s great in bed knows how to last for ages. But there are plenty of situations where you (and your partner) may want to wrap things up a little more quickly than usual. Here are a few completely reasons why speeding up your session might actually make perfect sense:
When you don’t have much time
There are moments when there’s simply no time for taking it slow: a cheeky rendezvous in an unusual (even public) location, a stolen moment in a jam-packed day, or even a last-minute quickie. The desire’s still there, but discretion and timing take priority. In these situations, cutting to the chase is not just understandable – it can even make your session even hotter.
When you want to come together
There’s a certain rare and almost mythical moment in sex: reaching orgasm together. If your partner’s on the brink of an orgasm, being able to speed things up to join them can turn your session into a unforgettable experience.
When you’re trying to conceive
For couples trying to have a baby, sex can sometimes feel like serious business, dictated by the fertility calendar. During ovulation, every encounter can have a clear purpose: conceiving a child. In this case, finishing quickly might be a priority to maximise your chances of success.
When you’re just not feeling it anymore
Sometimes, for one reason or another, you might lose interest in your sexual encounter. In these cases, you may want to bring things to a close without upsetting or insulting your partner. That said, it’s always worth remembering that you’re under no obligation to finish if you’re not feeling it. Mutual consent and comfort are the foundation of a healthy sex life.
When it’s your job
Yes, really – if you work in the adult entertainment industry (hey, we’re not ruling out any of our readers!), knowing how to climax on demand is a genuine professional skill. That kind of mastery deserves a round of applause.
Whatever the situation, wanting to finish faster is a completely legitimate desire. It’s all about context and communication with your partner. So, don’t feel guilty – there are as many ways to enjoy sex as there are reasons to speed things up.
Why Finishing Quickly Isn’t Always So Simple
Men are often thought to have an almost instinctive ability to achieve an orgasm. But the reality is far more nuanced – ejaculating quickly isn’t always as straightforward as it might seem. There are physical, psychological, and even social factors that can make it more challenging than some may think.
The basics of ejaculation
To understand why things might not go as planned, it helps to know what’s actually happening during ejaculation. It’s not just a physical process – it’s a finely tuned interaction between the stimulation of the penis, physical pleasure, and mental arousal. For men, orgasm is a coordinated effort involving the muscles, nervous system, and mind. If any of these components are off-kilter or held back, it can make ejaculating more difficult.
A fine balance of physical and mental arousal
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not just about physical stimulation. Mental arousal plays an important role in orgasming as well. If something unexpectedly turns you off during sex – an unsexy thought, performance anxiety, or a lack of chemistry with your partner – you may experience a frustrating mental block.
On the physical side, certain positions may not provide enough stimulation to get you over the line. But the mental aspect is just as crucial. If your mind isn’t in sync with the moment, reaching orgasm can feel unlikely, or even impossible.
What might be getting in the way
There’s a whole range of factors that can complicate your ability to come:
- Physical issues: A position that doesn’t hit the right spots, reduced sensitivity, or just plain exhaustion.
- Psychological barriers: Distractions, lack of emotional connection, or even self-doubt about yourself or your partner.
- Substances: Alcohol and drugs, often seen as helpful for loosening up, can actually work against you. They alter your perception, reduce sensitivity, and make ejaculation harder to achieve.
When an inability to come quickly become recurrent
In some cases, if you’re finding it harder and harder to reach completion, this may be a sign of a sexual dysfunction or underlying health issue. If this becomes a regular occurrence, it may be worth speaking to a professional. They’ll help identify the root cause and recommend tailored solutions to get things back on track.
Simple Tips to Help You Finish Faster Without the Stress
If you’d like to climax faster during sex, there are plenty of straightforward, effective techniques to help you get there without pressure. These tips will help you find the right rhythm and make reaching orgasm easier.
Use your imagination
When the issue is mostly psychological, one of the best strategies is to use your imagination. Think about something that really turns you on – maybe a scene from your favourite erotic film or a fantasy involving the partner of your dreams. Fantasising during sex like giving yourself a mental shortcut to increase your arousal and edge closer to climax. Think of it as the opposite of when a man tries to think unsexy thoughts to last longer in bed!
Tone up your pelvic floor
A toned pelvic floor can work wonders for helping you control your ejaculation. By practising Kegel exercises for men, you can strengthen this key muscle group, making it easier to manage when you finish. These exercises are simple, can be done anytime, and may improve your overall performance as well as help you finish faster.
Choose positions that provide more intense stimulation
Some sexual positions offer greater stimulation (tightening your partner’s orifice for greater friction), making it easier to reach orgasm. Positions like doggy style can really speed things up for some men. You might also consider asking your partner to wear a butt plug – this handy anal toy tightens the vaginal canal and increases stimulation for both of you.
Try something new
If vaginal or anal penetration isn’t getting you there, try switching things up. Other sex acts, such as a tittywank, a footjob, or even just plain old masturbation, can be a great way to regain your momentum and help you finish faster.
Stimulate your prostate
For an incredibly intense orgasm, why not experiment with prostate massage? Using a prostate massager or a butt plug can significantly enhance your pleasure and help you climax more quickly. This often-overlooked area in men is highly sensitive and can definitely be a game changer during sex.
Do a little preventative work
A little preparation can go a long way. If you’re aiming to finish quickly, do not masturbate before your sexual encounter, as it can lower your sensitivity. Avoiding alcohol or drugs before getting intimate can also make a big difference – while they might superficially relax you, they’ll also significantly delay ejaculation.
Contrary to what you might think, some men don’t care for marathon partner-play sessions. Whether it’s for practical reasons, a specific situation, or simply personal preference, wanting to finish more quickly is a completely valid desire. The tips we’ve shared will help you find your rhythm and enjoy a satisfying end to your encounters.
However, if finishing quickly becomes a recurring challenge or you often struggle to reach orgasm, there may be an underlying issue. In such cases, it’s a good idea to speak with your GP or consult a sex therapist. A good sex therapist will give you personalised advice and solutions to help you enjoy a fulfilling and stress-free sex life.
Every man and is unique. The most important thing is to respect your body and discover what works best for you and your partner while keeping your intimate bond alive.