The 10 Commandments for Long-Distance Couples

In this article, the LOVE Team reveals our 10 commandments for long-distance couples, to help you keep the flame of desire burning while your partner is far away.

When living far away from your partner, it's easy to be tempted to let yourself go by staying cooped up, spending all your time on social media, and frittering your time away. This is one of the worst things you can do! It’s incredibly important to keep active and develop interests that will enrich your relationship and keep you from sinking into a pointless slump.

Now’s the time to take up a new sport, meet new people, and go out with your friends. You'll stay active, dynamic and fit. You'll have things to tell your partner, and you'll be able to share your enthusiasm, your discoveries and your encounters from a distance. Your interactions with your partner will be all the better for it.

Plus, maintaining a social life will allow you to enjoy yourself and keep you from moping. Make the most of the present moment, don’t think too much about the future, and you'll be doing yourself and your partner a favour.

Don't be too demanding about the frequency of these phone calls. Be considerate of your partner's needs and be conciliatory. Regularity remains the key word, and your diligence and commitment to each other are absolutely essential if your communication is to continue smoothly.

Thanks to today’s technology, you don’t even have to be in the same room as your partner to share a meal. Organise to break bread over Skype, Zoom, WhatsApp, FaceTime or any other online messaging service. Agree on a menu, perhaps prepare a recipe together and set a time for lunch or dinner together, in front of your screen, face to face, just like in a restaurant!

The intimate setting will make you forget all about your geographical distance. You'll have the time to talk about more serious matters, share what’s making you happy or worried at the moment. In short, a well-organised meal will bring you closer together, strengthen your intimate bond and show the other person how attentive you are to their feelings.

Honest and open communication is the foundation of any relationship. There's no room for uncertainty, doubt or resentment: just say what's on your mind, openly and compassionately. If things are left unsaid for too long, they will endanger your relationship.

Don't be afraid to bring up sensitive issues: Are you feeling jealous? Are you afraid of losing your partner? Show your love for your partner and tell them how much they mean to you. Distance can exacerbate existing issues: if something is bothering you, express yourself, don't let resentment get the better of you. Not being able to see your loved one's face or interpret their expressions and gestures can easily lead you astray. Trust yourself to be open and direct. If you disagree about something, try to resolve the problem calmly and diplomatically. Your partner will be grateful.

Lack of physical contact is undoubtedly one of the biggest pitfalls of long distance relationships. Physical closeness is the glue that holds a couple together! It strengthens bonds and fosters trust in each other. 

Before the advent of app-controlled toys, phone sex was a must for couples: a few saucy conversations were enough to satisfy each partner. Today, advances in technology have opened up a whole new world of possibilities for couples seeking out some cheeky time together.

During your regular discussions, set a date for your next reunion. That way, you'll be able to dream about that magical moment when you'll be reunited with your loved one. Plan a romantic weekend or, even better, a long holiday together. Plan your trip and think out every moment: there's nothing better than the two of you working on a project together.

Plan to discover a region you've never been too together: the memories you make will be unforgettable. Find out in advance about the activities you can do together, agree on them, dream about them, exchange ideas and share them!

While you're waiting for the joy of your reunion, keep in regular contact with each other. Despite the distance, the time you spend together will strengthen your bond and help you look to the future.

Planning a surprise for your partner will show them how much they mean to you, despite the distance. A thoughtful message, a surprise video, an unexpected gift, a poem...the possibilities are endless. You don't have to spend a fortune: just be creative, as a personalised surprise is sure to delight your loved one and show them how much you care.

In a long-distance relationship, it's important that you trust your partner. Otherwise, really, what’s the point of being together? Believe in the strength of your bond and try not to let your doubts get the better of you. Talk to your partner about your worries and fears: they’ll be grateful that you’ve brought them up. One of our golden rules? Make sure you don't spy on them too much on social media! They’re entitled to live their life, as you’re living yours.

Sharing activities together will help you bond. Find a time when you're both available. A shared hobby will allow you to talk about much more than run-of-the-mill topics. Pursuing a new activity together will make each of you enjoy the other’s company all the more. Cooking, gardening, reading, going to the cinema... The hardest part will be choosing which interests to pursue!

In a long-distance relationship, unforeseen circumstances can arise. This is normal, and you shouldn't hold it against the other person. Postponing a meeting, cancelling a long-planned date... these things happen. Be understanding and flexible. You won't suffer too much, so you shouldn’t make your partner feel guilty.

A long-distance relationship isn’t always an easy thing to live with, so show as much flexibility and tolerance as possible towards the other person as possible. Keep in touch despite the ups and downs, and you'll emerge stronger from the trials you've been through together. Good luck!