Shibari for Beginners
1. Talk things over with your partner
Before diving headfirst into your first Shibari escapade, a proper chinwag with your partner is essential. It's the perfect time to lay all your cards on the table, darling. Discuss those boundaries, share your deepest desires, and ensure everything is out in the open for a smooth-sailing session.
- Role call: Who's doing the tying (the rigger) and who's keen to be bound (the bottom)? It's crucial to ensure that both of you are on the same page, embracing your roles with zest and understanding the responsibility each role carries.
- Chatter matters: Open lines of communication are the heart and soul of Shibari. Be candid about what tickles your fancy and where the line is drawn. Encourage your partner to do the same. Consent is the name of the game, so ensure it's clear as day. Perhaps settle on a cheeky non-verbal cue too, so the bottom can swiftly signal if they fancy a breather or need to halt proceedings.
- Keep a clear head: It might be tempting, but trust us, alcohol or drugs before a Shibari session is a no-no. You'll want to be sharp and in the moment, so best leave the tipple for later.
- Trust and safety first: It's all about creating that snug environment. Reassure your partner and earn their trust with thorough safety measures. Honour their boundaries, and they should reciprocate in kind. With these foundations, you're set for a Shibari session that's bound to be memorable (pun lovingly intended)!
2. Safety first
Before letting those ropes embrace you, take a mo to plan things out. It's all about ensuring you're both comfy and safe. A few preparatory winks can truly make the difference.
- Scissors at the Ready: Special scissors for shibari are a thing, love! Having them within arm's reach ensures that should the knots become too much, you can swiftly free your partner without any fuss.
- Educate Thyself: As sensual as shibari is, it does come with its risks. One can't just tie willy-nilly; nerves can be sensitive little things. Dive into some reliable sources, be it good old books or trusted online sites, to ensure you're playing it safe.
- Set the Clock: For your first foray, 20 minutes should do the trick. It gives you both time to adapt to these new, exhilarating sensations and can be amped up for future rendezvous.
- Safety Word Wonders: Choose a safety word or even a phrase that's easy to remember. When uttered, it means "Time out!" No questions asked.
With these guidelines in place, you're well on your way to an enchanting experience. Stay sharp, keep those ears open, and may your shibari session be as splendid as you've dreamt!
3. Find the perfect position
Darlings, the world of shibari is vast, with knots and positions aplenty. But it's all about discovering what makes your heart race. Here are a few pointers to guide you.
- Become a shibari scholar: Dive into a trove of resources out there – be it video tutorials, bustling forums or specialist reads. Remember, not all that glitters is gold, so ensure your sources are top-notch and credible.
- Geometry in the bedroom: From the alluring X-shaped belt, the classic H-shaped belt to the intricate diamond belt, shibari boasts a beautiful repertoire of geometric wonders. Familiarise yourself with these traditional forms and see which ones make you feel all fluttery.
- Rope choices, rope choices: While jute and hemp ropes are the darlings of the shibari world, there's a buffet of options out there, each bringing its own unique charm to the table.
Your exploration will not only add a touch of creativity but also allow you to tailor your sessions to your own quirks and preferences. After all, as shibari evolves, so should your approach. So, go on, weave your own magic and make the experience uniquely yours!
4. Start with simple knots
- Simple yet sultry: Begin your knotting journey with easy peasy ones like the figure-of-eight, the lark's head, or the carrick. They're perfect for creating those tantalising attachment points, whether on your partner’s body or a stationary point.
- Double the fun: Ready for a bit more complexity? The snake knot or column knot are your next steps. They promise a sturdier hold, but do make sure you've got them down to a T before you bring them into your playtime.
- Practice makes perfect: It's all about refining your skills. Keep an eye on that rope tension and be super attentive to your partner's cues. Communication is the key, after all!
- Unleash your inner artist: Shibari, my dears, isn’t just about knots; it’s an art form. Express yourself, create your own style and let your imagination run wild. With every tie and twist, discover new sensations and watch your intimate tapestry evolve. Knot up, and happy exploring!
5. Talk to your partner after the session
Once the ropes are off and the knots untied, it's time for a good old heart-to-heart with your partner. This little chat is the unsung hero of ensuring each session is better than the last.
- Tune into each other: Ask your partner how they felt. Did the session light their fire? Were they snug as a bug? Are they keen for round two?
- Evaluate your session: Give your recent shibari adventure a little think-over. Celebrate what went smashingly well and mull over what might need a tweak. Was your chit-chat game on point? Did everyone feel cosy and respected?
- Plan your next session: If your partner's game for another whirl, start dreaming up your next adventure. Maybe toss in some intricate knots or playful positions? Always keeping those boundaries crystal clear, of course.
- Respect your partner’s boundaries: If your partner fancies a break or wants to leave this journey entirely, remember to be as graceful as a swan. Consent is the bedrock of BDSM. So, always be kind, understanding, and above all, respectful.
For the most delightful shibari escapades, it's all about embracing the journey, not just the destination. Master the art of patience and let your story unfold organically. Combine that with top-notch communication and always, always stick to the safety playbook.